Something happy…

My last post was sort of gloomy so I thought I would bring some love back. This is the story of how Mr. Wonderful surprised me at work. I will give you some back story in case you are just tuning in… 

Mr. Wonderful is a wildland firefighter. This job causes him to work ALL over. His first job was in Jay, Oklahoma. 14 hours away from me. He left December 8th. We talked almost every day. I taught him the beauty of Skype which turned me into a giddy school girl because I could actually look at him and talk to him. I knew he would be home sometime in March or April. I knew he wanted to surprise me. I’m a tiny bit of a control freak so that drove me nuts! When we hit March I asked him nearly daily when he was coming home. He always told me he couldn’t tell me. And then it went like this…

Sunday March 23rd – He calls me and tells me that several of the guys are done for the fire season and heading home. He mentions that the boots he ordered have shipped but he doesn’t know where they are so he has to wait for them.He originally was going to ship them to me but for some reason had them sent to him in Oklahoma. I was thrilled at the idea of him being home no matter what day it was, in fact, I was at WalMart when I got this call and started crying in the check out line out of excitement. We continue to text throughout the rest of the day but his replies are scarce and take longer than normal to come through. 

Monday March 24th – I send the usual good morning text and receive a prompt reply which is unusual because when he is in the field (like he told me he was going to be) he doesn’t have time to chat. I note that he is very chatty (which I love!). Around 9:00am he calls, starts telling me he is out in the field and working and that he just fell asleep last night. I grow suspicious but don’t want to get my hopes up.  

1:00PM – He calls and tells me he doesn’t think he will be able to make it home, listing off several different reasons and giving me anxiety at the thought of not seeing him. I start to tear up. I offer solutions and tell him not coming home is not an option. We find a sort of solution and end the call. He’s still incredibly chatty for someone who is working which again makes me suspicious. 

2:41PM – He calls and again is super chatty. He asks what I’m doing and how my day is going… We discuss my vision of him coming home and how I imagine he will just show up at my work. He agrees that, that is likely how it will happen but then is quick to get off the phone with me. 

Seconds after hanging up I get a picture text from him of the following…

Image

 

And then my office phone rings, it the receptionist. She tells me someone hit my car in the parking lot and I need to come up immediately. I knew in that moment that my car was fine and the love of my life was up there waiting for me. I ran from my office to the front (they have me stashed away in the back of the building) and never have I been more happy to see that man. I start crying and kissing him and shaking. It was incredibly romantic. The receptionist filmed it on Mr. Wonderful’s phone but I have yet to figure out a way to get it on a computer but I can replay it in my head like it was yesterday. This is why I will always have faith in love. 

Working for love

(note: I started this post on the brink of a huge fight, my train of thought may appear jumbled and this post may generally suck)

Hi!! Remember me?

I warned you so I almost don’t feel bad for being so awful at this…

Are you ready for an update? Yes? Hooray!!!

If you read my last post, you’ll remember that I asked you to wake me when the fairy tale was over. I’m at that point. The fairy tale part of our relationship has coming to a crashing end. He was gone for three and a half months. He was in Oklahoma for work and I was here. While he was away, I moved into a new apartment. I set up a home for us. I waited for him. While I was here, he was working. He was falling in love with his career. He was spreading his wings and taking flight.

Of course, because no one is perfect, we fought. They were generally petty fights over absolutely nothing but things were always said. Hurtful things were said, silent treatments were given. The apologies were always there a day or two later and we would agree to stop fighting. One of our fights we have yet to actually recover from…

I’m the type of person that will forgive, forget, and move forward. I don’t like harboring negative feelings. It makes me physically sick, my chest tightens, my breathing is short, my brain is never focused. He is not that person. He is the classic over thinker. One small fight, or even one small remark can lead to the fight of the century. This particular fight happened the Monday following Valentine’s Day. I was having a bad day and was being overly needy (something I have come to see in myself sometimes that I am working on because I’m not fond of this side of me). I made the HORRID mistake of telling him I felt like he was being distant and that he didn’t talk to me as much as he should. HOLY FUCK BALLS! That was the worst thing in the world I could have said, this has been our longest fight so far. For an entire week we fought. He gave me the silent treatment (because that’s the solution to someone feeling neglected, you neglect them more). I cried myself to sleep.

I don’t remember exactly how we recovered from this but I know we did… sort of… he has since returned. I will post the happy story of how he surprised me at work next. We are still together but this fight seems to resurface quite a bit. He’s afraid that I will do this again when he’s out of town again. I’ve scared him but at the same time the man has little faith in our relationship. We are currently working on that. I’m not sure that I’ve made any real point to this so the next paragraph will have some profound stuff….

Mr. Wonderful and I are not perfect. Neither of us ever lead the other to believe that. Personal growth will happen, especially when there are 900+ miles between you. Adjusting to the growth when you reconnect isn’t easy. We are actually having to step back and re-get to know each other. The one thing that has remained true in all of this though is our love. He loves me and I love him. Love isn’t easy. Being in love really isn’t easy. Working together as a couple to refind love is the best thing you can do.

Believe in love. Never give up hope. Even if, God forbid, something were to happen between Mr. Wonderful and myself, I would still have faith in love.