Coworkers and online dating…

Today we shall discuss the awkwardness of seeing someone you see just about everyday on your dating site… FUCK! 

So I work in the oilfield industry which means I work with men and lots of them. When I first started I was shy and didn’t really talk much but now I have moved to the front desk and guess what?!?!?! I see every single one of the field guys almost daily. There isn’t a whole lot more awkward than knowing these guys have seen your personal profile with exactly what you are looking for in a man laid out for their eyes to read. Even better is that I get to see the same…. which brings me to a new point…

I am a judgmental bitch sometimes. I already know this about myself but I sometimes have to get knocked down and be reminded that some people are like me, they’ve been through a hard ship and they hide it well. If you just met me you would have no idea (unless I told you) that I just survived a two year relationship with a drug addict. You wouldn’t know that after having to live with family I am finally in my own place and finally am happy. The things we hide with our smiles and our actions are quite extraordinary. So when you learn things like this via your coworker’s online profile how do you look them in the eye and not want to apologize for judging them? 

One guy raised a son on his own and I often make fun of him for his shitting parking… or his short man syndrome… or his inability to fill out his paperwork properly… but fuck! he raised a baby on his own…. that’s some hard shit to do!

But that doesn’t really alleviate the weird I have to look you in the eye and know that you saw the super cute picture I took of myself in the bathroom at work, or that I like tall men, or that I seriously like older men… 

Another perk of online dating is you never know who you will see on there… until next time… 

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Top ten

Today I was reflecting on my past relationships and all that they entailed. So of course I started feeling low… that’s I sort of kicked myself and said “wait a minute! you’re a catch!”

So I thought I would make a “Top 10 Reasons I’m a Catch List” and then maybe inspire my few readers to do the same…

1. I can love like there is no tomorrow. If I’m going to love you it’s not going to be done half assed. I’m going to love you with my everything (ask my kids). 

2. I’m a good mother. Conceited? Maybe but then again they are alive and fed and clothed and housed and I do it all without the help of a man (not that I want it that but ya know).

3. I can cook. I spent my youth in the kitchen with my mother and grandmother and learned what I could.

4. I have quite the sense of humor. I love to joke around and play. 

5. I make beautiful children. I mean seriously if you are going to bring someone home to meet mom who better than someone you know has the perfect hips for birthing. 

6. My ass…. if you’ve seen it… need I say more?

7. I’m smart… maybe not brilliant but I’m smart. 

8. I’m wise beyond my years. While I am a 25 year old single mother of two I’m certainly not your typical 25 year old. 

9. I love to laugh and I have a good wholehearted laugh.

10. BECAUSE I’M ME! There is no better reason than that really… 

Your turn. Try it because it’s not as easy as you think… I got stuck at number six and had to really think about myself and what I have to offer. GOOD LUCK!

Oh the people you’ll see

Online dating is sort of embarrassing and it takes a huge step to put your face out there for all the world to see. It’s even more embarrassing when you see an ex on there… well admittedly you get a thrill seeing that they are still single but then comes the “oh yeah so am I” factor.

One of my many rules of online dating is to never make the first move (I’m old fashioned at heart and am like that in real dating too). So when I happen to come across an ex or a coworker or some asshole from high school ignore them and move along hoping that they will extend me the same courtesy and pretend they didn’t see me either. On the rare occasion a coworker will message me or even say something to me in person… no big deal. Recently I had the complete and utter shock of a message from an ex who I had not spoken to in over 5 years. This particular ex may or may not be the father of my first born. That’s a story I don’t feel like getting into so judge away and let your imaginations run free with that. For the sake of this story we will refer to the ex as Wade so we can keep things straight.

When Wade and I first started dating I was young and dumb and looking to get into trouble after having played the good girl role for far too long. He was my first big love. We dated a whole 9 months and the break up was tragic and it sent me into a depression. I got over that of course when it came time to “man up” and have a baby. He had no interest in the baby and that was fine by me. I wanted him to find a rock to hide under and die. Wade’s mother and I kept a close relationship for a while and in fact I lived with her for a short period of time. So last I knew of Wade he was in Texas (if you know me you will see I have a theme of exes moving to Texas, I’m a country song waiting to happen) until a few weeks ago when I got a message from him on a dating site.

He was shockingly polite and we actually had quite the conversation. We have since exchanged phone numbers and have been talking almost daily. The fun part of this for me is that I am so far from that same girl he knew that it scares him. I am more honest with him now than I ever was before. I am also a bit more “experienced” in certain areas of life and that thrills him. We have actually seen each other in person since this started and I honestly had no emotional reaction to it like I thought I would. I was afraid that seeing him would bring up all this emotion and that I wouldn’t be ok… fact of the matter is he is the one with the emotional issues not me. (I will admit I am incredibly jaded about love)

So we have seen each other three times so far and two of those times were for more than just talking. Again the fireworks I anticipated were no where to be found. In fact, it was a 3 on a scale of 1 – 10. And as unfortunate as that seems I have been enjoying talking to him. I can talk freely to him about anything… my ex, my most recent sexual encounter, my kids, anything. In turn he talks to me about the same various topics. So we’ve been discussing at length his most recently break up. (oddly enough it’s fun to discuss this with him)

So he is totally in love with this girl, to the point where that’s all we talk about right now. She was partly cheating on him and lying to him and doing all sorts of things that shouldn’t be done in a relationship. Why he is in love with her I will never know but I also don’t give a shit. So the other night I gave him advice he didn’t want to hear and I half expected to not hear from him again. I am learning now with him to expect the unexpected because sure enough he called me the next night because he needed someone to talk to… Apparently he had gotten a hold of the phone number of the guy his ex had been cheating on him with and called him and told him everything. So I listen and offer up my opinion here and there and here we are days later still talking about it all.

Now here’s the rough part… Wade’s ex works at AppleBee’s. I took my kids there for dinner last night and told him I was there. His ex’s roommate was my server. These people have no idea who I am or that I know what I know about them. So my server comes over and tells me that her roommates boyfriend is there and going to propose to the roommate. I die a little inside because I know what this means. I stay long enough to watch this proposal and the yes happen…. it gets better don’t worry.

Today I get a text from Wade telling me that a gift he ordered for the ex a while back should be delivered in the next few days and what is the least dramatic way for him to get it to her… I haven’t told him about the proposal because how do I do that and not make him want to die?!?!?!?!? HELP!!!!!!!!

(I know how much you all appreciate a long rambly blog that ends abruptly like that)

Update- to my knowledge he still does not know about the engagement and I still refuse to tell him.

I suck at this…

Ya’ll I suck at blogging… particularly because I don’t have internet at home right now but mostly I just suck at this in general and the sad thing is I have fun and stupid stories to tell! So I’m going to make a point of trying to make this a weekly thing… I can’t make any promises but I will try! Just for you my faithful readers (hahaha I think there are 4 of you and I know you all).  Since I am using my last ten minutes at work for this I figure I should tell you one of my stories so I am racking my brain for a quick one…. aha!

I will tell you about the man who seemed normal until he wanted me to bite him… in places most men don’t like to be bit.

We met online (of course!) and chatted for a few days before deciding to meet for coffee at Village Inn. We hit it off and he was actually better looking in person which is always a huge plus. Our first date was amazingly awesome and because I couldn’t help myself we went back to his place and that was nice and normal too! It wasn’t until the second date when he came to my house to watch a movie with me and my fabulous roomie that things got weird. We watched our movie and then went to my room. We were doing our thang being frisky and what not when he whispers “Wanna do something freaky?” I was hesitant and asked what and then it happened. He wanted me to bite and not just a light grazing type bite… he wanted a full on chomp! I just couldn’t do it… we finished and I sent him on his way. I honestly haven’t heard from him in over a month.

Men are weird!

(also I know this post sucks and for that I am sorry! I will make it up to you!!!)