New Year….

Well folks, I’ll say it again, I’m the worst blogger ever.

To make matters even worse, I’m no longer single. Remember my last post where I told you about my date? It just so happens I met the love of my life that night. 

Our first date was perfect so of course our second date (a movie and bowling) was phenomenal. There was lots of laughter, kissing, touching, and just wonderfulness in general. He even let me take a selfie of us! Look!!!

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Look at this man…

I am pleased to announce that I did not sleep with him until our third date… like three whole weeks. If not more… I really don’t know. At this point it’s been almost three months and it seems like we’ve been together forever. He’s my other half. We fit. He makes me smile. He loves my kids. I mean loves them. Wishes they were really his. I mean perfect.

I know what you are thinking… too good to be true right? That’s what I think every day and every day he amazes me and is still here.

Ok, well maybe not HERE. This man has a career. He’s a wildland fire fighter and is currently working in Oklahoma.

Our relationship is being tested right now but let me tell you what… if we survive this separation, we will survive so much more.

I’m smitten y’all… truly smitten and utterly in love.

When I wake up from my fairy tale will you fill me in on what I have missed from the real world?

Still the worst blogger ever… But I’ve been doing research???

So I’m totally still the worst at this. Sorry for that… I got a new follower this weekend and that makes me happy! It also tells me I should try to be a better blogger. Luckily, I had a date last night so I totally have something to post about!!!!

Anytime I meet someone online I’m always super hesitant about our first in person meeting. Is this person really who they said they were? Are they going to look at all like their pictures? Is he going to have a voice like Mickey Mouse? A ton of questions start surfacing in my already freaked out brain. So you plan a meeting place, somewhere public and safe. Now, I knew what about me physically this guy was attracted to so like a good girl I totally used that to my advantage. I wore the pants that make my ass look good, the perfect top that accentuated my curves along with the bra that gives the proper amount of push, I curled my hair the way it was in his favorite picture of me, and had my makeup done by a friend. Why put all this into a first date? Because first impressions are key in the dating world particularly if it’s a first meeting and the guy is HANDSOME! Yes, folks this guy is stunningly handsome and attracted to me so I went the extra mile or two.  

We opted to meet at park and go for a walk before going bowling so we could chat and get to know each other. He had to travel about 45 minutes to get to me (even more impressive I know) and seeing as it was his first visit to my town he got lost and was a few minutes late but managed to find me and the park. I was shockingly calm. I looked good and you know, what have I got to lose? It’s a first date, it can be good or bad. Either way I get to go home and assess. And then he got out of his SUV and dear Lord is he gorgeous. I mean stunning. 

We start our walk. There was laughing and slight brushing. There was eye contact. We talked about all sorts of different things. He made me laugh. I made him laugh. It was a very enjoyable walk. At this point, I know I am attracted to him and that I enjoy his company but I can’t really determine how he feels about me. I make him drive me to the bowling alley like a proper date. Again, more enjoyable conversation and a decent musical selection. 

We arrive at the bowling alley and immediately have a blast and make fun of each other in the ever so attractive bowling shoes. Eventually it is just us in the entire bowling alley, laughing and having a great time. I’m a horrible bowler. I mean horrible. He, of course, is a wonderful bowler. He kicked my ass in our first game. We play another and by the second frame the physical attraction is evident. Finally, after I bowl an awful frame, he pulls me in and kisses me. It was unexpected but oh so desired and in fact amazing. Shockingly enough, a good make out session was all I needed to make me a decent bowler. Truth, he was now so distracted he couldn’t bowl for shit. I won that game by 7 whole points. I even got a strike! 

Unfortunately, motherhood kept me from staying out all night bowling. Reality is that was probably a good thing. I like this one. Let’s not muck it up just yet with the horizontal polka. He drove me back to my car, we made out some more, I went home. On the way home I did what most girls do and called the bestie to give her a play by play. As I am going on and on about what a good time I had I got a text. Put the bestie on speaker phone to check it. It’s a text from him…. only it’s not meant for me… it reads, “Good! It went awesome man!! The eyes got me though. Lol. But it was good.” 

And then he realized he sent it to me and it turned into a very comedic moment. I click with this one… let’s see how badly I can screw it up! 

Ok, not really… I do like him… I’m going to try my best not to ruin it… will fill you in more… I promise… maybe… 

I told you so…

Remember before when I told you I absolutely sucked at blogging? Well I was telling the truth and then some… I don’t have internet at home (because I’m a poor girl) and suddenly have been swamped with work and life and learning life lessons about dating men from work. That’s right folks, I dipped my toe into the work dating pool… STUPID!  Of course, I will give you details to keep you from making the same mistake. 

M and I started flirting from the day I met him at work. I didn’t see him often but when I did there was a sparkle in his eye and some flirting to be had. Then there was the subtle facebook add, the occasional bump in the hall way, the time he came up behind me and put his hands on my sides to move me, little stuff but it was all building up to something. 

Finally, he commented on a facebook rant of mine about how he never wanted to get on my bad side. I took his opening and sent him a private message letting him know my bad side could be quite fun and that lead to a dinner invite and a number exchange. Dinner never happened but we did hang out at a another coworker’s house and had some drinks. One too many drinks lead to making out (which was delicious) and that lead to defiling my coworker’s guest bedroom and coming home with me. (yes, I had an over night sitter and my kids were not home) The sex was incredible as was the entire evening. He made a point to tell me that he wanted more than just sex from me and that he wanted a relationship. 

Goody, right??!!?!? 

I was thrilled and scared and cautious. Monday morning came and nothing was weird. The week went by and he made a point to find me and talk to me. He invited me and my kids camping with him that Friday but then at the last minute that was cancelled (which was ok, I hate camping). So we were supposed to get together that weekend. I heard NOTHING all weekend. And even more NOTHING on Monday. When I passed him on the road on my way home Monday night I sent him a short but to the point text that caused him to call me. He apologized and gave me excuses which I accepted and opted to move on and let it go. Until Wednesday night when he once again stood me up… another angry text this time about how I was done trying. This time I got the “don’t give up on me” text and didn’t have time to deal with him because I was having a mommy melt down pertaining to the first day of Kindergarten. Several texts later he was coming over that night. He did and stayed because he had to be at work at 2:00AM but because of that we never got to talk and lay down boundaries (I need boundaries to survive). Another weekend comes and I hardly hear from him at all. Now, correct me if I’m wrong but if you want to be in a relationship with someone wouldn’t you want to spend time with them and get to know them?

Once again Monday comes and I’m pissed. So I send him a lengthy email explaining myself to him and that I am feeling a little used and need some answers. Essentially I gave him an out and it was up to him where to go from there. The entire day goes by and I hear nothing from M. I know he’s read my email because I told him he needed to but have heard nothing. He leaves the office and talks to me like nothing is wrong. I’m furious. I text him and tell him I am about the enter bitch mode and an answer was in his best interest…. still nothing so I send him this 

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To which about 30 minutes later I get a half assed apology about how we are moving at different paces and he wanted to take it slow and that he has too many hobbies that take up his time. I’m not sure what speed he was on but moving at the speed of sloth was not on my agenda. I didn’t want to dive head first but holy hell batman! I need a response! M then asked if we were going to be civil at work… DUH! Which is essentially what I told with an added, “doesn’t mean I don’t get to be hurt and angry though.” 

At this point we have had a couple awkward passings but nothing too miserable. I have also put in a bit more effort into my appearance this week. I even wore heels today… I don’t know what I’m hoping for but right now I’m having fun with it… 

Lesson learned… DON’T DATE COWORKERS!

It’s weird now. I work with mostly men… now I wonder how many of them know I put out so quickly… three for sure… who knows… it’s weird though…

Don’t do it!!!!!!!! 

(I’m a rambler and for that I apologize but not really)

Coworkers and online dating…

Today we shall discuss the awkwardness of seeing someone you see just about everyday on your dating site… FUCK! 

So I work in the oilfield industry which means I work with men and lots of them. When I first started I was shy and didn’t really talk much but now I have moved to the front desk and guess what?!?!?! I see every single one of the field guys almost daily. There isn’t a whole lot more awkward than knowing these guys have seen your personal profile with exactly what you are looking for in a man laid out for their eyes to read. Even better is that I get to see the same…. which brings me to a new point…

I am a judgmental bitch sometimes. I already know this about myself but I sometimes have to get knocked down and be reminded that some people are like me, they’ve been through a hard ship and they hide it well. If you just met me you would have no idea (unless I told you) that I just survived a two year relationship with a drug addict. You wouldn’t know that after having to live with family I am finally in my own place and finally am happy. The things we hide with our smiles and our actions are quite extraordinary. So when you learn things like this via your coworker’s online profile how do you look them in the eye and not want to apologize for judging them? 

One guy raised a son on his own and I often make fun of him for his shitting parking… or his short man syndrome… or his inability to fill out his paperwork properly… but fuck! he raised a baby on his own…. that’s some hard shit to do!

But that doesn’t really alleviate the weird I have to look you in the eye and know that you saw the super cute picture I took of myself in the bathroom at work, or that I like tall men, or that I seriously like older men… 

Another perk of online dating is you never know who you will see on there… until next time… 

Top ten

Today I was reflecting on my past relationships and all that they entailed. So of course I started feeling low… that’s I sort of kicked myself and said “wait a minute! you’re a catch!”

So I thought I would make a “Top 10 Reasons I’m a Catch List” and then maybe inspire my few readers to do the same…

1. I can love like there is no tomorrow. If I’m going to love you it’s not going to be done half assed. I’m going to love you with my everything (ask my kids). 

2. I’m a good mother. Conceited? Maybe but then again they are alive and fed and clothed and housed and I do it all without the help of a man (not that I want it that but ya know).

3. I can cook. I spent my youth in the kitchen with my mother and grandmother and learned what I could.

4. I have quite the sense of humor. I love to joke around and play. 

5. I make beautiful children. I mean seriously if you are going to bring someone home to meet mom who better than someone you know has the perfect hips for birthing. 

6. My ass…. if you’ve seen it… need I say more?

7. I’m smart… maybe not brilliant but I’m smart. 

8. I’m wise beyond my years. While I am a 25 year old single mother of two I’m certainly not your typical 25 year old. 

9. I love to laugh and I have a good wholehearted laugh.

10. BECAUSE I’M ME! There is no better reason than that really… 

Your turn. Try it because it’s not as easy as you think… I got stuck at number six and had to really think about myself and what I have to offer. GOOD LUCK!

Oh the people you’ll see

Online dating is sort of embarrassing and it takes a huge step to put your face out there for all the world to see. It’s even more embarrassing when you see an ex on there… well admittedly you get a thrill seeing that they are still single but then comes the “oh yeah so am I” factor.

One of my many rules of online dating is to never make the first move (I’m old fashioned at heart and am like that in real dating too). So when I happen to come across an ex or a coworker or some asshole from high school ignore them and move along hoping that they will extend me the same courtesy and pretend they didn’t see me either. On the rare occasion a coworker will message me or even say something to me in person… no big deal. Recently I had the complete and utter shock of a message from an ex who I had not spoken to in over 5 years. This particular ex may or may not be the father of my first born. That’s a story I don’t feel like getting into so judge away and let your imaginations run free with that. For the sake of this story we will refer to the ex as Wade so we can keep things straight.

When Wade and I first started dating I was young and dumb and looking to get into trouble after having played the good girl role for far too long. He was my first big love. We dated a whole 9 months and the break up was tragic and it sent me into a depression. I got over that of course when it came time to “man up” and have a baby. He had no interest in the baby and that was fine by me. I wanted him to find a rock to hide under and die. Wade’s mother and I kept a close relationship for a while and in fact I lived with her for a short period of time. So last I knew of Wade he was in Texas (if you know me you will see I have a theme of exes moving to Texas, I’m a country song waiting to happen) until a few weeks ago when I got a message from him on a dating site.

He was shockingly polite and we actually had quite the conversation. We have since exchanged phone numbers and have been talking almost daily. The fun part of this for me is that I am so far from that same girl he knew that it scares him. I am more honest with him now than I ever was before. I am also a bit more “experienced” in certain areas of life and that thrills him. We have actually seen each other in person since this started and I honestly had no emotional reaction to it like I thought I would. I was afraid that seeing him would bring up all this emotion and that I wouldn’t be ok… fact of the matter is he is the one with the emotional issues not me. (I will admit I am incredibly jaded about love)

So we have seen each other three times so far and two of those times were for more than just talking. Again the fireworks I anticipated were no where to be found. In fact, it was a 3 on a scale of 1 – 10. And as unfortunate as that seems I have been enjoying talking to him. I can talk freely to him about anything… my ex, my most recent sexual encounter, my kids, anything. In turn he talks to me about the same various topics. So we’ve been discussing at length his most recently break up. (oddly enough it’s fun to discuss this with him)

So he is totally in love with this girl, to the point where that’s all we talk about right now. She was partly cheating on him and lying to him and doing all sorts of things that shouldn’t be done in a relationship. Why he is in love with her I will never know but I also don’t give a shit. So the other night I gave him advice he didn’t want to hear and I half expected to not hear from him again. I am learning now with him to expect the unexpected because sure enough he called me the next night because he needed someone to talk to… Apparently he had gotten a hold of the phone number of the guy his ex had been cheating on him with and called him and told him everything. So I listen and offer up my opinion here and there and here we are days later still talking about it all.

Now here’s the rough part… Wade’s ex works at AppleBee’s. I took my kids there for dinner last night and told him I was there. His ex’s roommate was my server. These people have no idea who I am or that I know what I know about them. So my server comes over and tells me that her roommates boyfriend is there and going to propose to the roommate. I die a little inside because I know what this means. I stay long enough to watch this proposal and the yes happen…. it gets better don’t worry.

Today I get a text from Wade telling me that a gift he ordered for the ex a while back should be delivered in the next few days and what is the least dramatic way for him to get it to her… I haven’t told him about the proposal because how do I do that and not make him want to die?!?!?!?!? HELP!!!!!!!!

(I know how much you all appreciate a long rambly blog that ends abruptly like that)

Update- to my knowledge he still does not know about the engagement and I still refuse to tell him.

I suck at this…

Ya’ll I suck at blogging… particularly because I don’t have internet at home right now but mostly I just suck at this in general and the sad thing is I have fun and stupid stories to tell! So I’m going to make a point of trying to make this a weekly thing… I can’t make any promises but I will try! Just for you my faithful readers (hahaha I think there are 4 of you and I know you all).  Since I am using my last ten minutes at work for this I figure I should tell you one of my stories so I am racking my brain for a quick one…. aha!

I will tell you about the man who seemed normal until he wanted me to bite him… in places most men don’t like to be bit.

We met online (of course!) and chatted for a few days before deciding to meet for coffee at Village Inn. We hit it off and he was actually better looking in person which is always a huge plus. Our first date was amazingly awesome and because I couldn’t help myself we went back to his place and that was nice and normal too! It wasn’t until the second date when he came to my house to watch a movie with me and my fabulous roomie that things got weird. We watched our movie and then went to my room. We were doing our thang being frisky and what not when he whispers “Wanna do something freaky?” I was hesitant and asked what and then it happened. He wanted me to bite and not just a light grazing type bite… he wanted a full on chomp! I just couldn’t do it… we finished and I sent him on his way. I honestly haven’t heard from him in over a month.

Men are weird!

(also I know this post sucks and for that I am sorry! I will make it up to you!!!)

My return….

I disappeared briefly and for that I apologize. I suffer from depression and the month of February was an ass kicker. But I am back and I fully intend to fill you all (the whole 3 of you) with my knowledge of the dating world! Unfortunately I have to run to the grocery store so I will leave you with a brief tip for allowing a man to buy you a drink…

Tip: If the man is soooo not attractive but offers to buy you a drink allow it… However that doesn’t mean you have to dance with him. If he is dumb enough to buy you a drink before asking you to dance that’s his problem! It might piss him off and he will more than likely not offer to buy you a drink but hey it’s worth it… little story to go with this because I sometimes can’t believe the shit that comes out of a man’s mouth. 

I was at a bar with a friend who I hadn’t seen in months and we were having a blast. I was at the time in a relationship so I had to be on my best behavior. A gentleman walked up and asked to buy us drinks and we all of course agreed. He wasn’t hideous but again I was taken. He asked what we wanted and we gave him our order. He came back to the table with just my drink and some story about how he wasn’t allowed to carry more than two drinks but was nice enough to give my friend money to go get hers. So he sits down with us and proceeds to chat which wasn’t awful and then he asks me to dance and not just a two step.. he wanted to bump and grind. I politely declined telling him I promised my husband (wasn’t actually married) that I would be good and not dance with someone else. The next thing that came out of this man’s mouth was a bit shocking… “Well it’s not like we’re fucking”

No sir, no we are not nor will we ever be… 

 

Online dating Continued

I left off with standing up for yourself when the creepers start creeping, something I forgot to mention is to use that BLOCK button!!! Sometimes its my favorite thing to click!

Now when you do get a message from someone who appears normal and you have read their profile respond however you want. (Quick side note: I never email/message a guy first. I let them start a convo) If you can tell they have a sense of humor based on their profile or the initial message be funny. If you think they will catch your sarcasm and snarkiness do it! Be yourself ladies. If he can’t handle your personality in an email then clearly he doesn’t deserve any more of your attention. The beauty of online dating I find is that you have the power. Plain and simple. A friend once told me that I treated these sites like a “man menu” and quite frankly FUCK YEAH I DO! I’ve been through the ringer with men. I know what I want, what I can get, and how I am going to get it. Now not all men on these sites are total assholes, some of them are actually quite great and polite and worth your time. If you find one of those guys jump on that shit! If you have to reject a thousand assholes first well I’m sure it was worth it!

When it comes down to actually meeting a guy, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS pick a public place! Meet him there, even if you wait outside and do the sometimes awkward first meeting stuff out there first. I find that with guys you can tell right away whether or not you are going to have a decent connection but sometimes they will surprise you. My current “regular” shocked me, we didn’t meet online but our first meeting was weird and our first hangout was actually quite nice. We’ve been “seeing” (also code for sleeping together) each other since early November and every time we are together it is even more comfortable than before, so don’t be caught off guard if it doesn’t feel right at first. But if you do have a connection right a way 10 points for you!

NEVER SCHEDULE TWO IN ONE NIGHT!

I realize that once the emails start rolling in we as women can get a little cocky ourselves but be respectful of the man who is taking you out and don’t double book an evening. I will admit I have done this but it wasn’t exactly a planned thing…. I had one guy lined up to be my DD after a bachelorette party and didn’t intend to meet a gorgeous 6’6″ cowboy at the bar. Accidents happen so we can allow for that but NEVER intentionally do it.

The online world is a scary one ladies so always be safe when doing anything. Some guys can get creepy fast. I’ve been there too…. I had one guy “fall in love” with me in less than two weeks and when I told him I needed space he thought that meant limiting it to 15 texts, 1 phone call, and 3 emails a day. And even after that he sent a letter (YES A LETTER) to my house and refused to give me his return address so I could send it back. Fail for him because I sent it to his work… he’s a police officer fyi.

Ok… I think I have more or less rambled on enough here… we’ll leave it at that for the day! Good luck and happy hunting!!!!!!

Happy I Fu*&ing Hate Being Single Day!

So I’m sitting here trying to convince myself that I don’t need a man and that I am strong and independent, which in reality I know I am, but all these damn facebook posts and coworkers are kicking my ego’s ass!

Single ladies, this day was not designed with us in mind that’s for damn sure but try to rise above it! Don’t be overly hateful today because that’s just not sexy. Let the love birds be in love because you can’t do a damn thing to stop them any how. Remember that life resumes normal tomorrow and all the flowers and chocolates and lovey dovey crap goes away.

Be strong girls! We got this shit under control!

More on online dating tomorrow night… I am down a kid since she’s going to a sleep over so it will be easier to get done.